Posted by: nikicf | April 10, 2010


Thanks to those of you who read and responded to my last post, in the comments here and through email messages.   As scary as it is to “put it all out there”, I know it is good for me to be honest about my struggles.  I know God has used and is using you to speak to me about these issues I am working through in my life in this area.

I got a message from a dear sweet friend from my church that I wanted to share.  She is a beautiful woman of God, both inside and out, and shared her heart with me after reading my struggles in that post.  I asked her permission to reprint her email here, as I know it really spoke to me and wanted to share it with you.

“…reading your health blog and feeling for you. Almost without fail, as a Personal Trainer, I would recommend to my clients to have a “throw your scale in the dumpster party”. As a Christian, you have the mind of Christ. That’s what the bible tells us. You have been set free in Christ. If something is causing you to not be free – lose it. Get it out of your life. Pray about this. Seriously. You have accomplished much, you have the tools to live a healthy life, you can live in the freedom of that. Will you sometimes eat 10 cookies? Yes. Will that completely derail you? Probably not. You have made exercise and eating right a habit. Now go and be free. I’ve been praying for you. Praying your mind will spend copious amounts of time reading the Word, praying, wondering how you can influence others to Christ. And less and less time worrying about non-essential things like what to eat, how much to eat, how much you over ate, what the number on the scale tells you, etc etc. The number on the scale (as you already know) does not determine your worth. It never has, it never will. Your worth is determined by God’s love for you. Period. I’m hoping you don’t hate me for writing all of these things. It’s just hard for me to watch people in bondage.”

I got this message a few days ago and it really has taken a few days to sink in.  I think it still is.  I wish I could say I had a great week after reading this, but I didn’t.  I know that I’m still struggling with this bondage.  But the good news is that I know God is powerful to free me and will have the victory.

I went running this morning and a song I have heard a million times before (really, I don’t have enough music on my ipod so I listen to the same playlists A LOT) totally spoke to me.  I am claiming this song in my victory over this struggle and will be singing it as I work to find my worth and purpose in Christ.

I am chosen, I am free

I am Living for eternity

Free now forever

You picked me up, turned me around

You set my feet on solid ground

Yours now forever

And nothing’s gonna hold me back

Nothing’s gonna hold me back

Nothing’s gonna hold me back

My chains fell off

My heart was free

I’m alive to live for you

I’m alive to live for you

Amazing Love, how can it be?

You give everything for me

You give everything for me


You washed my sin and shame away

The slate is clean: a brand new day,

Free now forever

Now boldly I approach your throne

To claim this crown through Christ my own

Yours now forever

I’m free to live

Free to give

Free to be

I’m free to love you

(You can listen to this awesome Tim Hughes song here.)



  1. This post is just all kinds of wonderful. I love the words your friend sent. So well said.

    • Thanks Rachel. I am so glad she decided to write me and that I could pass these wise words along!

  2. Wise words from your friend. I am so glad that you share your health journey openly on this blog. Being truthful with each other is what we need. Okay, I’ll be blunt here…honestly, when I read your last post a while back I was worried you were focusing too much on your weight. I think you look FABULOUS! and you have rid yourself of the burden of carrying extra weight…now you are free in a sense but not if you are tied tightly to calorie counting and the scale. Live as God intends for you to live. And live as you want your daughters to live when they are adults. I admire that you are willing to share your thoughts and be vulnerable on your blog. It’s part of being real, and being a part of community….in an online sort of way:) We all have struggles. We all have idols (heck, i have my own) that we need to push out of the way. And we do that together. Thanks for sharing.

    • Thanks for your concern, my friend! I want to live a healthy, balanced life that is focused on Him, and not myself or my body. Keep praying for me.

      And thanks for your continued encouragement! You are going to be a great mom and role model to your kid(s)! 🙂

  3. indeed, wonderful words your friend shared with you. and i can see how it would be hard to digest. but i know for certain that you have worked VERY hard at becoming healthy and ridding yourself of unwanted weight and i applaud you for that. because as much as we are who God created us to be and we need to love ourselves as He loves us, we are also temples of the Holy Spirit and it is our responsibility to take care of ourselves (this is in no way speaking against your friend; i hope it doesn’t sound like I am!).
    she makes some very good points and i will be re-reading her words a few more times for sure. appreciate the work you have done and yes, free yourself to ENJOY life – this new healthy life that you have, with your family 🙂
    sorry if that was jumbled or didn’t make sense – it’s late (for me!).

    • Yes, I understand what you are saying, Kelly. I’m working on taking care of my “temple” while not focusing on it too much. Sounds easy, but is quite hard in real life.

      Ultimately, I want a healthy body so I can use it to glorify him, not myself. I’m working on it! 🙂

  4. pretty sure I need to tape that message on my mirror….some very wise words. Thanks so much for sharing Niki!!!

    • Glad I shared them and you were able to hear them. We’ve got to learn these things so that we can teach our beautiful girls, eh Megs?

  5. Funny how I came to read your blog today after many of the same thoughts in this post have been running around in my head lately. It was as if God kept an appointment with me here today. I so am chained to my scale and really have considered getting rid of it actually… I do not have a healthy relationship with it, and your post prior to this one echoes my relationship with my scale exactly. Thanks for sharing your heart and your friend’s words… so good for me to read today.

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